Hi there, thanks for reading this and tuning in to my blog. Hopefully you'll enjoy the video!
It has taken a while to put together as it is not an easy story to tell. I am so thankful to everyone that has given me the support and guidance over the past two years, I truly appreciate it and so stoked to have the chance to share my story and hopefully inspire others!
I couldn't have done it without the support of family and friends! I am really excited about what the future holds and I'd be honoured if you will join me in the journey!
Stay Strong and Keep Moving!
Hello everyone! Here's a new video for you to watch when you have ten minutes. Some tips on a basic push up or press up as well as making a pretty cool kale and spinach salad.
Here's the recipe from the video in detail for you:
2 handfuls of spinach
2 handfuls of kale
1 tin of chickpeas which I forgot to mention in the video
1 tablespoon maple syrup
1 tablespoon cider vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
Handful of raw cashew nuts
Shallot or onion - Optional
I hope you enjoy trying it out ahead of the scorching summer that is ahead!
Peace for now
Hey guys! Back again with a new workout for all you avid golfers out there, these moves have helped me develop some core strength over the past few months. Whilst I can't include a full spectrum of movements in a short workout these will certainly get you stronger. This can be done at home or in the gym which is the beauty of it! For those with established workout routines you might want to throw this into the mix, those who aren't working out and want their golf to improve then this is a good way to get you going.
If you are serious about your fitness goals within golf then this is just an introduction and you can always give me a shout to write a more comprehensive workout schedule to improve co-ordination and explosive power.
Have fun with it guys and let me know how you progress!
(Are there any workouts that you'd like to see or any sports that you'd like to train for? Let me know and I'll do my upmost to write you a fun training program.)
Howdy there folks and we are back for the second part to my ramblings on CONFIDENCE.
I kind of left you hanging there. I told you that I achieved a dream of mine but then failed to become the second part of that dream. I have touched on this in my videos before, where I mentioned that I was at University in America and doing what I had dreamed of throughout my teenage years. I am obviously not there anymore and didn’t manage to stay on the golf team. There are a number of reasons why I couldn’t carry on in my second year, the first being that there was a financial collapse and the world was in a bit of a pickle. The second was that I had really struggled to perform well on the golf course in my first year. I had some good rounds and put myself in good positions but I seemed to always fall shy of getting the job done. This was purely down to not believing in myself on the golf course. I was playing with guys who had oodles of experience; who’d played in different tournaments; they had mentors and coaches for a lot longer than I had and I felt a little bit out of my depth.
I had come from the confidence high of losing weight and building up to a moment that I had dreamed of, once I got there I thought to myself that the rest would take care of itself. In life or sports when you take your eye off the ball you either get hurt or don’t succeed, and that’s what happened to me. I didn’t really understand that the things I wanted in life were things that I was going to have to grind out myself. I also didn’t apply the lessons I had learned on the golf course to my personal growth in the first few months that I was out there. I should have been working harder than every single person on the team because I was the one with the least experience; instead I worked the same amount as everyone else and expected my game to improve. I have had a lot of time to sit and think about why I never made a success of my golf out in America and I look back on the experience with so many mixed emotions. I’ll tell you a story, for those of you who don’t follow golf you won’t understand the lingo but just realise that it was this moment that defined my future in golf.
We were coming up to the end of the first year and my results had not been very good, I had not qualified to play on the official team once, but I had represented the team when it was necessary. I cant really remember all the rounds that we played but what I can remember is the qualifying for the final team that would head out to the biggest tournament of the year. In any given college team there are about 10 players, within those, 5 are chosen or ‘qualify’ to play each tournament. Qualifying happened every week, of the 5 there’s always the top 2 that honestly don’t have to qualify because they’re very consistent. Realistically and in my case 8 guys were playing for 3 spots.
It was the final tournament of the year and it was a big one, we had 3 qualifying rounds to play, 2 at our home course and 1 away at another course. The first day I played really well, I had a solid round and putts were dropping in from everywhere, I think I shot 68 putting me ahead of the other players. It was a real confidence boost and I felt great. The next day we went to a course that I had never played in my life, it was windy and raining and I really struggled. I shot something like 82, needless to say the team found this hilarious and I joked about it too. The final round was still to play and we were back at our home course. I started playing really well; I was under par and came to the final stretch of holes on the back nine. It was looking like I would qualify. I stood up and made a bad swing the ball sailed out of the golf course into a field and nearly killed a cow (I’m not joking.) With the coach and the whole team watching it was one of the toughest moments I have ever faced on the golf course. I stood up to hit another one and bang, all the way out there again. I eventually wrapped up my round and it ended up being 2 shots that cost me my journey onward to the next year. The coach let me know that it wasn’t looking good for me, realistically I could have gone back in the second year as just a student and try to earn my way back onto the team of 10 somehow.
You may read that and think that it was quite harsh of the coach, but the reality had been building for some time, when you spend a year living with and playing golf with your team you learn a lot about their attitude; my attitude was not professional and yet I was striving to be one. Joking had become my defense on and off the course; I would get really sarcastic and get really vocal, encouraging negativity. In my head at the time it made me feel better, but all that it was doing was driving me further into my problem and it was annoying for the other players. Golf is often likened to life and it is safe to say that negative people are very tough to be around; negativity does not equal productivity. My confidence on the golf course was no where near where it should have been and that was down to the way that I approached the situation, I let the bad rounds beat me down and I let them fester, this wasn’t productive because I wouldn’t let myself learn from the mistakes.
Fast forward to 2012/13 and I was a real mess, I had ‘failed’ to achieve what I wanted in America and I was working a job that I really didn’t like in a place that I wasn’t really enjoying. I had stacked the deck against myself, and found comfort in food and cigarettes, leading to me becoming obese and having even more confidence issues. I know what it is like to sit down and think about your life and have no idea where you would like to be. I had so many conversations with family about my future when I was at my biggest and I couldn’t see it in my mind; I couldn’t see what I wanted and it really depressed me. My head was clouded from all the rubbish food that I had been eating and the lack of exercise. Once I decided to have that faith in myself that things were going to brighten up I was on the road to recovery.
As I mentioned before, I faced the fact that I was unhappy and wanted change, I had belief that I could achieve it and now I am happier than I could ever wish to be. My goal with this blog and with the YouTube channel that I am working on is to give people the chance to reach their full potential. I want you to say to yourself, “Yes, he did it and that means I can do it too!” Think about this scenario, if your life never changed from today onwards and you lived the rest of you life the way you are now. Would you be happy? Would you be angry? Would you regret not stepping up and taking control?
I am telling you that you can take control, you are awesome and you have the ability to reach your full potential, you just have to believe in yourself and keep going! I have full belief in you and I have never met you, I have this belief because we are all humans and on this earth striving to move forward. Don’t let your self-doubt hold you back! I recently read a very good book by Joe Manganiello called Evolution, the very last line of the book says; “Your past is a pedestal. It’s waiting for you to place the statue on top. What’s your statue going to be?”
Stay strong and keep moving lovely people!
Here's my quick 5 minute take on confidence for you guys before I publish my next bit of written ramblings on the topic! If you find it motivating, or helpful in anyway then I have done my job for the day. Don't stop being awesome guys!
Stay strong and keep moving!
"How are you going to live your purpose if you don't face your fears?" Tony Horton.
Today I sat down and realised that amongst the many things I have covered already in my writing; (motivation, setting goals, building a community of support, doing your best and starting out on a fitness journey) I haven’t covered one of the biggest issues that people face every day. Confidence.
Growing up being slightly bigger than the average kid was not really a confidence booster and it certainly didn’t help in my first 2 years of high school. The weight fluctuated so too did my confidence, but by the time that I reached the age of 17 I was sure, that I wanted to be a professional golfer. Having the dream in my head was one thing, putting that into action was a whole different story.
My dream was to get to America on a golf scholarship and play well enough to turn professional. In 2005 I came over to the UK to help me take the final step across the pond to the US. I wandered about a little bit doing the odd thing here and there, but I didn’t flood myself with the opportunity to gain experience or learn; with those two things I would have been more confident on the golf course. The biggest thing that I lacked in my years of growing up playing golf was a mentor. Mentors are an integral part of any personal journey; you need someone to inspire you to be the best person that you can dream to be. I am a true believer in mentors because I have seen progress in myself with mentors; I have also seen other people progress thanks to their mentors. And the word mentor is being thrown around a lot in this paragraph! Ha-ha! I digress; I had an idea of where I wanted to be later in life, but I had no idea where to start.
In the summer (2005) I had a golf lesson at a course that was known for having a top teaching professional. I was paying for my lesson at the end and I met a man behind the counter in the golf shop called Alasdair, I introduced myself and we got talking about my plans. He then went on to tell me that he was out in the states for 4 years and actually had played golf against Tiger Woods in college; he had been there during the eruption of talent in the mid 90’s when the game of golf changed forever. I was truly inspired! I told him that I was using a ‘company’ that I had paid to help get me out to America; he advised me against that approach. His advice was clear and simple, if I wanted to get there I would need to spend the time and do the applications myself. His advice was to target the smaller schools and then work my way up once in the system. I gave it some serious thought, but then later brushed off his comments because I was scared of having to do everything myself, I'd rather leave it to someone else. I actually never returned to that golf club again.
After a pretty disappointing year in 2005 from a golfing front I had missed the chance at getting into a college in the states for the 2006 intake. The ‘company’ didn’t really pay off, they had promised a window of time that was unrealistic and had not really kept me in the loop. Disillusioned with my lack of results and feeling that winter wasn’t for me I returned to Botswana in the December. I moped around our house for a few days, not shaving, doing the list of clichés to help ’soothe’ my soul. My plans were pushed back and I had to learn a hard lesson that nothing was promised for me, I would have to earn my ticket out to the US and take matters into my own hands.
I ended up back in the UK early in 2006 and working in a golf pro shop, I was the fattest that I had ever been and I still had no idea how I was going to gain the experience and confidence I needed to get to America. I decided that the only way to make progress in the summer time was to get fit lose some weight and at least give my self a fighting chance in a 36 hole tournament. I joined a gym and made sure that I could go there everyday in my lunch hour. After a few months of eating better and getting structured exercise I had lost weight. I went down from over 100 kilograms to about 80 and I was feeling really good about things, I made new connections and landed a new job by simply starting a conversation with someone. The job meant that my hours were way more structured than in the pro shop and it meant that I could have weekends free to play golf and network with people.
One day I walked into the Pro-Shop of the golf club where I was a member and guess who was the new face behind the counter? Alasdair. He recognised me from the other golf club where we had spoken before. We started talking and I explained that the ‘company’ that I was using to get me over to America was not really paying off. He did the whole ‘I told you so’ thing and then did something that I wasn’t expecting, he told me to head over to his house and sit down with him to go through a strategy. Just like that I had a mentor.
After some hard work on my game and loads of emails, paperwork and some focus and dedication I ended up getting to America to play golf for a smaller school. The point of this story is that I got there by getting into the right healthy state of mind; this opened me up to a better more positive energy. It allowed me to step forward and make conversation with someone that I had never met, that led to a job, which changed the dynamic of my work life. It then led to me getting more time to play golf with others in my age group, which meant that my experience grew and so too did my confidence. So the two key things that happened in 2006 that allowed my confidence to grow: 1. I made a decision to get control of my situation. 2. I started to work out regularly. Those two things gave me the mental and physical capabilities to chase my dream.
In my opinion confidence is a reflection of two things, your mental state and your physical state. With that said, your body cannot be relaxed with the mind being tense and vice versa. If you are a confident person then often you will show this with your demeanour. If I stood in front of you with great posture and a peaceful look on my face you would be inclined to think that I was a confident person. If I then stood in front of you with my chest sunken in, rounded shoulders and didn’t make eye contact then what would you think of me?
I have by no means mastered the art of body language and or confidence. I still lack the confidence that I need to achieve certain things in my life, but is a part of the process that I am going through. I truly believe that each and every person in the world has it inside of them to inspire the next; it just depends if you are open to making connections and putting yourself out there or not. Some people are too closed off for that, and in my opinion that stems from issues with confidence.
Think about your last interaction with a complete stranger and ask yourself if you opened up to them, I don’t mean in the ‘pour your soul out to them’ sense; I mean how was your body language, did you smile? Did you give them the feeling that you are open to a connection? If the answer is that you don’t know or that you didn’t interact; then I challenge you to make that extra effort next time. Humans feed off the energy of others and if there is a good energy it is bound to rub off.
This brings me back to the first line of today’s post, in order to grow your confidence you have to face your fears, you have to make that decision to believe in yourself and you'll see your character grow. If you want to lose 10 kilograms but you are constantly second guessing yourself then you haven’t faced your fears, you’re just agreeing with them. Facing your fears is putting on your running/ walking shoes and getting out the door to enjoy the fresh air and get the endorphins released into your blood stream. Now is that a scary idea? Maybe to some, but you’ll never reach your true potential until you try.
I battle confidence issues everyday and they are partially what hindered me from becoming the professional golfer that I always dreamed of being. You’ll have to tune in another day for the second part to this post because I’m sure you have had enough reading for one sitting, or you might be entirely bored with my preaching and decide to watch my videos instead. Either way I win! Ha-ha! I’ll pick this up in a couple of days and you can read the second part to this post.
Have an awesome day/ night wherever you are and remember to be strong and stay humble.
Hey guys! I know what you might be thinking..... Another stretching video!?! Well this one is slightly different and is a request from a follower! Try and get good range of movement with these stretches; if you can't go all the way into a stretch then doing your best is better than nothing! After the stretches I'll cook up some eggs, crack some yolks and some jokes.... See what I did there?
Have an awesome Thursday and if you have any fitness video requests then be sure to let me know and I'll see what I can do!
Peace for now and stay strong - keep moving!
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Brendan is the owner and head trainer at Raw Motion Fitness.